Because You Know Me SO Well...

We were aggressively Team Green for The Barracuda. We just felt like it was one of life's last surprises to wait until the baby was born to find out the gender. I also secretly feel like I would be one of those people who fell into the 2% (or whatever it is) of an incorrect anatomy scan. And then I would wind up having a boy and I would be stuck with a girly nursery and all of the tiny pink clothes that people bought me just because they couldn't resist. No thank you. It's not my style.

That's just it. It's not my style and it's my freakin' uterus. Choose to do what you want with your own baby making parts for all I care. I can certainly see the advantages to finding out, and I often say that when people say they know the gender of their unborn child. I would never say to anyone, "That's so stupid that you're finding out." Yet, people are SO QUICK to judge when I say that I don't know the gender of my unborn child.

Someone once said that the reason they wanted to find out was to bond with the baby more. Right, I'm not bonding with my baby at all. THE CHILD IS INSIDE OF ME PEOPLE, I don't think we could be more bonded. Sigh. And the list of mind-numbingly dumb comments just continues each day.

I just love it when people ask me how I am possibly planning for this child. Or they say, "I could never wait. I am a planner, I like to have things all planned out. That's all I do is plan for everything." I hate that remark for various reasons. First, are you insinuating that I'm not planning for this child at all because I don't know what type of organ does or does not exist between their spindly little legs? Second, you must know me so well to make that comment. Eff off, I have the nursery painted (complete with chevron stripe accent wall), the crib is on it's way, and I just have to organize some baby clothes. I'm 30 weeks, I think I have a lot of stuff figured out already. These are all of the comments that I have wanted to yell at people after they say these things to me. The Bear just thinks I have a touch of the pregnancy hormones. But I am fed up. I assure you, people have said these things to me. Good friends, family members, random strangers, patients at work-you name it. It's like once you become pregnant and your belly starts protruding, you suddenly become public property to just bash.

For the record, I'm a great planner. Let's call a spade a spade: You are impatient and you want to find out what you're having. THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT. Like I stated earlier in this post, it's your body, you and your partner should choose to either wait or find out. It truly is a surprise either way. It's just whether or not the surprise is somewhere around 20 weeks gestation or after the baby has left your body. Either way, you get to take a baby home with you. A sweet, perfect, little human...that will spew poo and breastmilk (or formula...don't get me started) at you for months...AROUND THE CLOCK.

Lately those gender reveal parties are becoming all the rage. Some people think it's attention whore-ish. I actually hope I get invited to one of those soon. I would absolutely love a blue/pink filled cupcake right about now.

Inadequacy served with a side of guilt

Or the darker side of motherhood. Honestly, being a mom is such a joy. I don't think that I could have ever prepared myself for the amount of love and joy I feel when I look at The Barracuda. But there is certainly no way in hell I could have ever been prepared for the amount of guilt I feel. For instance, I feel guilty that I work part time. The thing is, I would feel guilty if I was a stay at home mom and I would feel even more guilty if I worked full time. My point it, there is nothing, NOTHING, I could possibly do to alleviate the guilt that I feel regarding how I parent The Barracuda, working 20 hours a week, etc. The list is endless.

My new goal is to just try to love being a mommy. I'm really doing the best possible job that I can. My kiddo is strong, healthy, hilarious, and wickedly smart. I have the same hopes for this next one.