Eating My Way Through Town

Considering I at about 1/2 of a 12" pizza and a ginormous salad on Saturday night, all you can eat buffet Sunday brunch (3+ plates), and then vegetarian chili, burger and french fries for dinner on Sunday. I think one of my favorite parts of the weekend was when my little bro looked at me during dinner and said, "Are you still loading?" Priceless. And all I have to show for it is a measly 129.2 lbs. Which means my little weight gain is up to 2 lbs. Big freakin' deal. All of my weight gain is in my gut because that's where my pants are the tightest. Thank goodness I go back to work tonight and get to enjoy pants with an elastic waist.

Acupuncture is going well. Today I felt more of that energy that was similar to the first time I ever went. She's moved a lot of the needles to outside/lateral version of my body. Like the first two times she would put needles on the inside of my wrist and hand and now she's been putting the needles on the outside of my wrist. Very interesting.

Other than that, still stuck in the waiting game. My head might actually explode.

Trigger Happy

This gorgeous little package arrived a couple of weeks ago via some nice gentleman and a brown paper package. Let's just say that the photo doesn't do the needle size justice. But a small price to pay!

I ended up triggering at work on Friday night--I coerced a dear friend into seeing my ass. In our gross staff bathroom. Let's just say that I sort of felt like a junkie would...sneaking into the bathroom, trying to not get caught...the whole injection thing...

Well, the needle didn't really hurt that bad and the medication wasn't too bad, either. I did however, limp down the hallway afterwards. But that was short lived.

I'm still going to acupuncture and I'm still really enjoying it. Other than that, there really isn't too much to post as of now. I'm just playing the waiting game.

What's Cooking in My Oven?

I had my CD12 ultrasound today to see if anything was cooking.....AND...I have some dominant follicles on my right ovary. Two to be exact. Ahhh, my right ovary is the golden child this cycle. I am a little concerned because my lining isn't super thick. I made sure The Bear picked up some pomegranate juice (it will supposedly help with my lining, but I'm not sure if it's too late in my cycle for this). I have, of course, been googling everything about acceptable lining thicknesses and what I can do to remedy this problem. Dr. C felt very confident that my lining wasn't compromised by the Clomid (a common side effect), she just feels that I still need a little more time. She was fairly pleased with the results, though.

Dr. C: So, how did the Clomid go?

ME: It was ok. I was really nervous and jittery while on it. I mean, I'm like that naturally, but this was significantly worse.

DR. C: Hahahaha! So you think the Clomid just exacerbated your nerves? Hahahahah!

Ahhhh, I love making people laugh.

So, this is the plan. I take my trigger injection on Friday. Six days later I will start Progesterone suppositories (ick) and then I'll have labwork on March 19th to see if I am pregnant. Obviously if I get my period before then, I will cancel the lab appointment. I think it's safe to say that we will proceed with Clomid again if this cycle is a bust.

I've been perusing my calendar trying to figure out exactly when to take this damn shot and it looks like I'll be at work that night so I'm sure I'll have to coerce someone into giving it to me. I'll have to check out the schedule tonight to find out who the eligible candidates will be...

Yesterday was my second acupuncture appointment. Yowza! It was a little more painful this time. Well, not quite painful, but it stung. And she stuck a needle in the top of my head. I told her how nervous I was on the Clomid, so I don't know if she worked a little voodoo magic to make me a little more relaxed, but I could barely make the drive home. I thought I was going to veer off the side of the road. Just kidding...kinda.

I'm contemplating calling my acupuncturist to see if she can help thicken up my lining....The Bear thinks I should NOT call her and thicken up our bank account. Fair enough.

Ultrasounds and Needles and Hot Flashes--OH MY!

So, a lot of shit has gone down. I haven't been the best about posting for a variety of reasons: Sleep, work, uncertainty, sleep, work, spazing out. You get the general idea. I finally feel like I have a small grip on my feelings, so I'm gonna put it all out there.

Let's start with last week. I got my period. On my own. Holy Balls. I felt like I was 13 all over again. Anyways, I call Dr. C's office, flabbergasted, and talk with a nurse about scheduling a baseline ultrasound. Said ultrasound took place this past Monday. Everything looks fab. Then I was given my script for Clomid 100 mg to be taken CD4-CD8. I had a long discussion with Dr. C and a nurse about how I was going to be monitored and how to ensure ovulation, blah, blah, blah. The plan is to go again next week for an ultrasound and see if I have any good sized follicles and if my uterine lining is thick enough. If everything looks glorious, I'll go ahead and take a trigger injection to get me to ovulate. About two weeks after my injection, I can test to see if I'm knocked up. If my u/s next week looks sucky, we'll cancel and regroup.

I have gotten Clomid in the past from my trusty, local Walgreens so that's where I was going to head for this next cycle. The trigger injection (HCG) isn't carried at many pharmacies and Dr. C's office doesn't trust a lot of places, so they exclusively use this pharmacy in Chicago--which promises free next-day delivery. The best part is that we actually have some insurance coverage for these drugs! My Clomid was under $6 and the trigger was only $28. Not too shabby. ESPECIALLY when I put it on the credit card to receive points. Why not?

Later on that Monday I ended up having my first acupuncture appointment. Talk about a big day for my ovaries. The initial appointment was great, a lot of talking about my health history, what I've tried, what I haven't. She then explained different concepts of Chinese Medicine and how what she's trying to do is support and aid what my RE is doing.

The acupuncture itself was awesome and weird. I felt like she stuck a bizzillion needles in my body but when I finally got the guts to look down, I only had, like, ten needles in! It may sound totally lame, but I felt a lot of energy and tingling and warmth where the needles were put in. I was so excited when I left! I will go again next week Monday.

While Monday was a great, red-letter day...the rest of this week has been ho-hum. I'm really feeling the Clomid. I am so distracted and my brain feels thick. Almost like I'm underwater. I haven't had too many crazy hot flashes, but I'm defintely warm. I'm sweatin' it up, that's for sure. On top of that, I feel very anxious and (for lack of a better term) jacked up. Kinda like that time I was on some heavy steriods for a raging case of strep throat. As a result, I ended up calling in sick for my last night of work this week--don't judge me. I felt that I was unsafe to be caring for sick people. I could barely get my act together the night before, Lord knows what I would have been like last night.

So that is this week in a nutshell: Some highs, some lows, and a whole lotta hope :)

Chewing The Fat

I have been all over the internets trying to figure out what may be the cause of my oligomenorrhea and how the heck I can restore my period. I have decided to try and put on some weight. Last week I successfully gained about 2 lbs. I have been eating about the same amount each meal but I have increased the frequency of eating.

Last week I tried to figure out my body fat percentage by using all of these online calculators. With the various measurements, I could have anywhere from 19-33% depending which calculator was used. I'd be very interested in finding out if my gym offers some sort of water displacement body fat analysis, which is apparently the most accurate way of measuring body fat percentage.

Speaking of the gym, I have not worked out in two weeks. LAZY!!!! I have been having difficulty dragging my sorry ass out of bed. I think I slept 16 hours one day last week. It was glorious, especially since I bought new sheets (on sale) at Boston Store. I compared this amount of sleep with some of my colleagues and it appears to not be totally abnormal. Or at least that's what I keep telling The Bear.

Thoughts...

I am very happy to know that The Bear is a-ok but it is a little difficult to know that I'm the defective one in the relationship. I'm thrilled to know that I don't have PCOS, but the truth is, I have problems with ovulation--so something is still wrong with me. Dr. C knows that I don't ovulate, but doesn't know why. I'm scared that because we don't know why I don't ovulate, we won't be able to fix the problem.

I thought a lot about why I might be having ovulation problems. Stress could be one reason. I have a very high stress job and I work strange and long hours. I enjoy it immensely, though. I work with some of the most amazing individuals and I get to do and see so many interesting things. I really do feel like I make a difference at my job, like I might make the world a better place and that I save lives. It's a little conceited to think so, but I do.

My second thought was my weight might interfere with ovulation. I'm somewhere around 5'7" give or take 1/2 an inch. I'm small boned and I'm probably around 125-127 lbs. I would say that I'm very lean. When I was perusing a fertility book the other day, it mentioned that for woman my size, optimal fertility weight should be about 133-145 lbs depending on bone structure. Well, I'm not even at the bottom of this range. So...I have decided to try and put on about 8-10 lbs and see if that makes a difference. I'm going to try and eat 4 small meals a day with lots of snacks in between. I'm going to drink 1% or 2% milk and increase the carbs, fruits, and veggies. I brought this idea up to Dr. C and she said that it certainly won't hurt anything but that she can't promise that it will help.

Finally, this week I am going to look into acupuncture. I think if anything, it will help me relax. I just feel like I need to be doing SOMETHING while I just wait for my period to show or until I hit the magic number of 35 days.

WoooooHoooo!

Today was our follow up appointment with Dr. C. I was so nervous that my lab work was going to be worse than what I already knew. I was scared that The Bear's SA was going to be abysmal. I kept imagining the worse.

The good news is that my lab levels all look good. My FSH is good. My testosterone, androgen, and adrenal labs were all normal. My ultrasound was fine and my HSG was all clear. So right now Dr. C is not really saying that I have PCOS so much as that I just have oligomenorrhea--I have few periods a year.

The best news though was The Bear's SA! Count was awesome, motility was 62% (average is 50%), morphology was 6% (average is 5%) so he is well above average. Fabulous, even.

The plan right now is to take Clomid my next cycle, do a little monitoring and then have timed intercourse. Dr. C gave us the option of timed intercourse or IUI and The Bear right away said "Timed intercourse!" Typical male.

So now I have to wait for my period to show. My guess is that it will not come so I'll have to take Provera to induce it. Then I can jump right in--most likely in March. So I will wait. Again. But it's ok, I feel a little relieved now knowing our results. I can be patient.