Thursday, June 16, 2011

Apparently Size Does Matter

With babies at least. Random strangers will approach us and remark how small she is. Yes, she is only 25% for weight, but she's 75% for length. She's on the growth chart people--there are actual thriving babies that aren't. But remarking on how small she is isn't the bad part. It's the actual disbelief that some people show when we say that she is 5.5 months old:

RANDOM IDIOT: What a beautiful baby!

ME: Thanks!

RANDOM IDIOT: How old is she?

ME: A little over 5 months.

RANDOM IDIOT: Really? She doesn't look a day over 3 months.

ME: She's 5 months old.

RANDOM IDIOT: So small...

I wanted to scream, "FU lady!" while I kicked her shins.

Then the following week:

STUPID MORON: She's so small!

ME: Well, she's 25% for weight, 75% height. Her pediatrician says she's perfectly healthy.

STUPID MORON: Really? How much does she weigh?

ME: She was 7# 10oz at birth and at her 4 month check she was 12# 5oz. She's over 5 months now.

STUPID MORON: Well, I just don't believe that she's over 12 lbs.

WTF you piece of shit! I almost said, "Well, if you want, you can certainly accompany us to our next doctor's appointment. You know, for your own piece of mind."

I know that I shouldn't let this bother me, but seriously, random people come up to us all the time. Since when did it become acceptable for people to become such idiots? I guess I'm just shocked...although, I really shouldn't be. I should remember how random people would tell me how small I looked when I was pregnant. Did I ever mention how a coworker lovingly stroked my belly and said, "It's a boy. Five, maybe 6 pounds?" I wanted to swat her hand away and say, "Five pounds!? Where the hell did the other 45 go?" That's ok, the jokes on her, Baby Bear was very average in weight and lacked a penis.

Moral of this story: Grow some balls and don't listen to anyone (random stranger or friends) when it comes to my baby's weight. It's between us and her pediatrician, who happens to think that she's small, but very very healthy and social.

Coming up: Flying with Baby Bear...our coastal adventures!