Wednesday, August 27, 2014

Cold Sweat

I'm sweating right now. Probably for a variety of reasons, but right now, the MAIN reason (and reason for this post), is that my sweet baby girl is starting school next week. I'll let that sink in for a moment. The Barracuda is three and half years old and will be starting school next week.

The reason I'm sweating over this is not, contrary to one might think, over some sort of separation anxiety about her leaving. I'm not going to lie, I'm a little teary eyed. My eyes welled up with tears only twice--ok, maybe three times--during Curriculum Night tonight. But I 100% believe with out a doubt that she is so ready for K3. And realistically, it's from 8-10:30 AM three days a week. It will be more of an effort to get her there. And we live within walking distance.

What I'm freaking out about, is all of the paperwork that is required for this. I just printed out ten separate forms. That does not include the immunization form and the picture form. I'm no stranger to a ton of paperwork, but suddenly this just seemed like one more area of my life that I could potentially screw up. On a day to day basis, I'm responsible for myself, my kids, my dog, and maybe 50% of my husband. It depends on the day. Some days I have to be responsible for critically ill patients. Don't forget housework and laundry. Meals. Signing up for park and rec activities. Play dates. Now I'm throwing school into the mix.

Right now I'm feeling this sense that I'm constantly screwing up. And the thought of adding one more thing to my plate that I will inevitably screw up is sorta sickening. I'm suddenly having flashbacks of college and grad school where I'm up late at night writing papers and meeting deadlines and I just think, "What are we getting ourselves in to?"

So why add it? Why add the stress? My little girl needs to go to school. She needs the introduction of some structure and listening to an adult that isn't mama, daddy, or her grandparents. We have play dates with friends, but she isn't in day care so I do think that she misses some of that socialization. I know there are a million studies out there that show that you should keep kids out of organized education longer, but I just can't imagine in this day and age, when kindergarten is the new first grade, her not being introduced to something. And I know there are a million options out there. But when I factor in my work schedule, time, and proximity, our church just seemed like the best fit at this time. My little girl, who can count to twenty, write her name (granted it's an easy three letter word), and draw pictures beyond her three short years on this planet. She's ready. I wouldn't send her if there was a doubt in my mind.

It's our choice. And I'm sweating over it.