Paranoia

Of the milk variety. The Barracuda is officially 8 months old and breastfeeding has suddenly become challenging again. She is has been nosey and easily distracted for months. She has been squirmy for months. Lately it's like she's trying to slither off my lap to run away (if she could run). Well, now, it's like wrestling a freakin' marlin.

I have tried all of the usual tricks like nursing in a quiet, dim room. I have tried a variety of nursing positions. She nurses, at best for 2-3 minutes. I hear her gulping and swallowing but it's only for a little time. I think she's making enough wet diapers, but we just went up a size and sometimes I think that that can mask how much urine she truly makes. A Target brand size 3 is for 16-28 lb baby. That's a huge range! The Barracuda might be 17 lbs at best. I won't know for sure until her weigh in at next months well baby visit.

As far as milk supply goes...I don't really know how much I'm producing. I still pump on occasion and when I'm at work, but Baby Bear isn't so fond of the bottle these days. I mostly use the milk for her oatmeal in the morning. When I do pump, I'm only getting out about 2 oz in the evening. I haven't skipped a feeding and pumped in FOREVER so it would be hard to tell how much I might actually be producing. Especially if I don't regularly pump. And I know that my baby is far more efficient at removing milk from a boob than a pump will ever/can be. But I'm a Type A Worry Wort who likes numbers and objective evidence.

All I know is that The Barracuda is becoming increasingly difficult to feed and my ta-tas aren't as full. And L>R. I still experience the sensation of let down 70% of the time when I nurse her. And I still leak out of the left if I start with the right. WTF? I'm perplexed. No one I know IRL has feeding issues with their little ones. Or sleeping issues for that matter. But alas, this post is about feeding, not sleeping.


I never thought I would say it, but I just don't think I'm ready to wean Baby Bear. For a variety of reasons. I like the snuggles, it's cheap, I truly think it's the best thing for her/us--designed by nature. I think I might end up calling a lactation consultant after the holiday weekend if this persists. Oy.