Update

Acupuncture has been going well. She did put a needle in between my eyes the other day, though. Freaky but cool. I like her a lot, I would highly recommend her to other peeps.

I ended up starting my cycle all over again, like immediately after stopping my progesterone. It ended up being about a 30 day cycle. Not too shabby. I had my CD3 u/s--which showed no cysts--and I am currently in the throes of 100 mg of Clomid daily. Dr. C was super cool at my baseline u/s; She said that there's no reason to not give this regimen another chance. She said (and this is consistent with what I've read on the internets) that treatments are typically done in threes. If a treatment is going to work, it has the best shot of working during the first three tries. After that, your chances drop off significantly. She did say that if I had too many side effects with Clomid this time that we could potentially try a different oral medication that works in a similar way, Femera. I'll have to Google/Wiki it more later.

My big concerns with this current cycle/treatment have been uterine thickness and if my follicles are big enough/mature enough at the time of trigger. My follicle check will actually be later on in my cycle compared to the last time with hopes that we'll have a little better look at what's going on.

Statistically, if I was COMPLETELY normal, I'd still only have a 20% shot of getting prego each cycle. OK, I ACED stats in grad school (I'm talking like 2nd or 3rd highest grade in the class) and I do not get how if there is only a 20% chance of getting pregnant each month why are so many people getting pregnant after only one or two months of trying?!

I can tell that the Clomid is kicking in. I might have had five hot flashes while writing this post. Not crazy, dripping wet, core of the sun hot flashes..just a little hot-cold-hot action. I also cried twice in the shower yesterday when I started freaking out that this is never going to work out for The Bear and I. Even the thoughts of adoption in the future aren't very comforting to me right now. This is a very real fear of mine, though...to go through life childless. ChildLESS.

I'm off work for a couple of days now. I'm so happy because I should be done with all of this crazy emotional nonsense by the next time I go in. Although, if I get a phone call canceling me on Saturday, it would ROCK. Then I could spend more time with The Bear ;)

Bust

I actually exhibited some self control the past two weeks and didn't even attempt to take a home pregnancy test. What I decided to do was to go in for the lab draw, come home, take the home pregnancy test and then wait for the doctor's office to call.

Well, both tests were negative. I was crushed for a little bit. I was teary eyed, but I didn't cry. I was kind of surprised. I want this so badly, you'd think I'd be more upset. Maybe I will be tomorrow.

So I stopped the progesterone, I'll wait for my period and then we'll try the same regimen again. I'm OK with almost all of this...I don't want to have to take those damn crazy pills again. Maybe this time will be different.

Thank you to everyone for all of your warm wishes, positive thoughts, and prayers. I am so warm and fuzzy inside knowing that we are surrounded with such lovely people who care about us.

It may take a village, but The Bear and I will be parents one day!

Eating My Way Through Town

Considering I at about 1/2 of a 12" pizza and a ginormous salad on Saturday night, all you can eat buffet Sunday brunch (3+ plates), and then vegetarian chili, burger and french fries for dinner on Sunday. I think one of my favorite parts of the weekend was when my little bro looked at me during dinner and said, "Are you still loading?" Priceless. And all I have to show for it is a measly 129.2 lbs. Which means my little weight gain is up to 2 lbs. Big freakin' deal. All of my weight gain is in my gut because that's where my pants are the tightest. Thank goodness I go back to work tonight and get to enjoy pants with an elastic waist.

Acupuncture is going well. Today I felt more of that energy that was similar to the first time I ever went. She's moved a lot of the needles to outside/lateral version of my body. Like the first two times she would put needles on the inside of my wrist and hand and now she's been putting the needles on the outside of my wrist. Very interesting.

Other than that, still stuck in the waiting game. My head might actually explode.

Trigger Happy

This gorgeous little package arrived a couple of weeks ago via some nice gentleman and a brown paper package. Let's just say that the photo doesn't do the needle size justice. But a small price to pay!

I ended up triggering at work on Friday night--I coerced a dear friend into seeing my ass. In our gross staff bathroom. Let's just say that I sort of felt like a junkie would...sneaking into the bathroom, trying to not get caught...the whole injection thing...

Well, the needle didn't really hurt that bad and the medication wasn't too bad, either. I did however, limp down the hallway afterwards. But that was short lived.

I'm still going to acupuncture and I'm still really enjoying it. Other than that, there really isn't too much to post as of now. I'm just playing the waiting game.

What's Cooking in My Oven?

I had my CD12 ultrasound today to see if anything was cooking.....AND...I have some dominant follicles on my right ovary. Two to be exact. Ahhh, my right ovary is the golden child this cycle. I am a little concerned because my lining isn't super thick. I made sure The Bear picked up some pomegranate juice (it will supposedly help with my lining, but I'm not sure if it's too late in my cycle for this). I have, of course, been googling everything about acceptable lining thicknesses and what I can do to remedy this problem. Dr. C felt very confident that my lining wasn't compromised by the Clomid (a common side effect), she just feels that I still need a little more time. She was fairly pleased with the results, though.

Dr. C: So, how did the Clomid go?

ME: It was ok. I was really nervous and jittery while on it. I mean, I'm like that naturally, but this was significantly worse.

DR. C: Hahahaha! So you think the Clomid just exacerbated your nerves? Hahahahah!

Ahhhh, I love making people laugh.

So, this is the plan. I take my trigger injection on Friday. Six days later I will start Progesterone suppositories (ick) and then I'll have labwork on March 19th to see if I am pregnant. Obviously if I get my period before then, I will cancel the lab appointment. I think it's safe to say that we will proceed with Clomid again if this cycle is a bust.

I've been perusing my calendar trying to figure out exactly when to take this damn shot and it looks like I'll be at work that night so I'm sure I'll have to coerce someone into giving it to me. I'll have to check out the schedule tonight to find out who the eligible candidates will be...

Yesterday was my second acupuncture appointment. Yowza! It was a little more painful this time. Well, not quite painful, but it stung. And she stuck a needle in the top of my head. I told her how nervous I was on the Clomid, so I don't know if she worked a little voodoo magic to make me a little more relaxed, but I could barely make the drive home. I thought I was going to veer off the side of the road. Just kidding...kinda.

I'm contemplating calling my acupuncturist to see if she can help thicken up my lining....The Bear thinks I should NOT call her and thicken up our bank account. Fair enough.