The Gameplan

I was finally able to meet with my new OB/GYN. I have mixed feelings, but I don't think that they are about her. I think I'm reacting to what she told me as she scrunched her face and squinted one eye:

OB/GYN: Hmmmm, you're going to be tricky.

Technically, I did want a doctor that was going to be straight with me, someone that wasn't going to sugar coat it. Someone that was equally kind and honest. And she exceeded my expectations. Did I leave with a warm fuzzy feeling? Not so much. But again, I have a feeling that it's because she didn't clap her hands and tell me she would have me knocked up by Christmas. Instead, she told me that if we don't have any results after 4-6 months of treatment, that she would send me on my merry way to the infertility clinic downstairs.

The Gameplan (She actually drew a chart! I loved that!) is to start Clomid when/if I get my next period. If I don't get my period, they will induce it with the lovely Provera. While on Clomid, I'm supposed to be using an ovulation predictor kit to see if I ovulate. If I do, The Bear and I are supposed to get busy. I think my husband loves this doctor for the simple reason that she wrote "Sex!" on The Gameplan.

I had a sneaking suspicion that she was going to prescribe Clomid. Let's face it, I've been all over Google ever since I knew something was wrong with my cycles. I've read tons of stuff about Clomid and trigger injections and IUI that my eyes are bleeding. I try to stay away from reading about success rates and percentages only because those have a tendency to make me blue.

I'm nervous. What I think I'm particularly nervous about is success rates. What if it doesn't work? What do we do next? It's been very difficult coming to terms with all of this information. It's all so new to me and just not what I had expected.

Slowly I have been telling more and more people around me. Like I said before, everyone at work knows. On Friday at Girls Night Out, I did speak about it a little bit with a couple of friends. Everyone keeps telling me to think positive, to pray, to keep my spirits up, that they are there for me. But what if it doesn't happen?