How much does it cost to make a baby?

I finally picked up some of meds last week. The Pharmacist asked me the usual questions:

DRUG DEALER: Did you ever take these medications before?

ME: No. Wait, yes, I took the Provera.

DRUG DEALER: Ok then, most women generally have good results with Clomid. Any questions?

ME: Any side effects?

DRUG DEALER: Maybe some GI upset. Just take it with a meal if that happens.

ME: Really? I'm a little concerned that I'm going to turn into the incredible hulk when I get mad and throw chairs into the wall and my head will spin around and pea soup will spew out of my mouth...Oh! And I heard you can have wicked hot flashes.

DRUG DEALER: I don't think so...although you never know with hormone changes.

He wished me good luck and half smiled at me as he slid the package across the counter. I braced myself for the big total. I was pleasantly surprised when the grand total came to a whopping $8.48! Later that afternoon, I high-fived The Bear and told him that maybe we can make a baby for under ten bucks.

Then the bills started rolling in from Doctor A's office. They were definitely more than ten dollars. The Bear's insurance covered some of it, but let's just say that we are out more than a couple hundred bucks for some labs and an uncomfortable ultrasound. We haven't even received Doctor B's bill yet. We're going to start tightening up the purse strings around this joint so that we don't start racking up debt through this whole process.

I have a feeling it's going to be a long journey. What are the odds of ovulating on a minuscule dose (50 mg) of Clomid and slipping one past the goalie on the first try? My guess is not great. Everyone keeps telling me to remain positive, but it's really hard. It will be even harder if I remain optimistic and then fail.

The beauty of working with 50 some women is that there are individuals who are or who have gone through similar things. They were also kind enough to tell me that Clomid will most likely make me crazy. I'm going to go to night shift for awhile in case I really have a hard time with the meds. I figure an emotional breakdown at 2 AM will be witnessed by less individuals than one at 2 PM.

This sucks.

***For the record: I do not view Pharmacists as actual drug dealers. I think they are a very well educated bunch of people. I've also known this particular pharmacist for a couple of years and he's seen me fill a variety of different prescriptions through the years. I do find it mildly amusing that he now knows that my ovaries need a jump start.