How did I get here?

When I was a teenager, I really didn't like children. I never really even thought of having a family. I was not one of those women that felt her heart flip flop every time they saw a baby. I was mostly awkward and scared around my nephews. Truth be told, I thought a lot about getting married and finding that special someone to spend my life with, but not about having a family.

In 2006, I actually lost my pills during a move about six months prior to my wedding and I thought, what the heck, I'll wait until the fall before I get a new prescription during my annual pilgrimage to the college health center. I had been on oral contraceptives for a VERY long time. When I was a teenager, though, my cycles had been quite regular. I had heard a lot about Nuvaring and thought I would give it a whirrl. I loved the idea of not having to take something daily. Lazy me. During the months that I had come off of my birth control, I had regular cycles approximately 28 days each. This was consistent with my cycles before birth control--back in the dark ages.

The Bear and I were married in 2007 and I was still in school with student loans piling up. I would be graduating in a year and I wasn't sure what was going to happen with the job situation, so we put off on starting a family.

Fast forward to April 2009 when I decide that I'm about as ready as I'm going to be to start having kids. Job is good, house is good, dog is good. Why not make life even better with a little wee one? My first cycle is 28 days. The next cycle is 33. No big deal, right? Then I go a whopping 44 days without a period and about 50 million negative pregnancy tests. I start googling everything infertility related. My head practically explodes with the possibilities.

I went for my annual appointment in September and explained everything to my general practitioner. She is incredibly supportive and doesn't even flinch when I begin to cry in my paper gown. She seemed quite concerned with my long cycles and ordered blood work. I cried out of relief. I think I was so concerned that she was going to give me the whole song and dance about how I had not been trying for one year yet. She sends me downstairs for lab work.

A couple of days later, the results are in: LH:FSH is 3:1 indicative of polycystic ovaries! I am to meet with her first to discuss these results and then we'll do more testing. I am a little peeved because I am impatient and want results now.

I let my mom know my diagnosis. This is our conversation:

ME: I have polycystic ovaries.

MOM: You don't have a beard?!

ME: Thanks. But please tell me if I do start growing one.

MOM: But you're not overweight!?

I think that is something that is very interesting about PCOS. There appears to be a bunch of different subsets of this disease. I continue to google everything under the sun regarding PCOS. I become very scared that I will be insulin resistant, develop diabetes, and subsequently lose my foot. I make a mental note to figure out how to make our house more handicap accessible.

The following week I have an ultrasound of my ovaries. AWKWARD! At one point the u/s tech says to me, "Ohhh, your ovaries are pretty far apart. There's going to be a LOT OF PRESSURE." Nice. I go back the following weekend for lab work to determine if I'm insulin resistant or not.

After developing a fantastic hematoma from the phlebotomist from hell, I eventually find out that I am not insulin resistant at this point in time. I immediately allow all carbs back into my life. I get put on a 10 day cycle of Provera to "re-set" my cycle. My general practitioner at this point gave me two options: I could have spironolactone to suppress my androgens and thus decrease my "symptoms" OR I could have birth control pills. Since neither of those options sounds good (You can't take spironolactone while trying to get pregnant/being pregnant and the birth control pills will prevent pregnancy) I asked the medical assistant if I should consider an OB/GYN or Reproductive Endocrinologist. She emphatically tells me that that is a good idea and they will give me a referral if need be.

I am all set to go balls to the wall and see a RE at a local fertility clinic. Guess what? My insurance company doesn't cover ANYTHING related to IF. Awesome. So next week I have an appointment with an OB/GYN that does have experience with IF and PCOS and comes highly recommended by some co-workers.

The best news? I'm on cycle day 68. AWESOME.